tnt's Favorite "Quotes"

Back to tnt's Home Page Yogi | Einstein | Wilde | Lasorda | Others | Unknown  

"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much."
- Yogi Berra -
"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra -
"It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it."
- Yogi Berra -
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
- Yogi Berra -
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
- Yogi Berra -
"It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays."
- Yogi Berra - (on his plans for the '64 World Series)
"Nobody goes there's too crowded!"
- Yogi Berra -
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra -
"Pitching always beats batting -- and vice-versa."
- Yogi Berra -
"Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical."
- Yogi Berra -
"It's hard to make predictions, especially about the future."
- Yogi Berra -
"Slump ? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."
- Yogi Berra -
"If people aren't  gonna come out to the ballpark, who's gonna stop 'em?"
- Yogi Berra -
"It ain't over till it's over."
- Yogi Berra -
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
- Yogi Berra -
"I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head."
- Yogi Berra -
"You can observe a lot just by watchin'."
- Yogi Berra -
"I want to thank all those who made this night necessary."
- Yogi Berra -

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"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler"
- Albert Einstein -
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein -
"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love"
- Albert Einstein -
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts."
- Albert Einstein -
"If only I had known. I would have been a locksmith."
- Albert Einstein -
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein -

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"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure, and never simple"
- Oscar Wilde -
"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the  young know everything".
- Oscar Wilde -

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"Tommy Lasorda -- Dodger Stadium was his address, but every ball park was his home."
- Tommy Lasorda - (when asked what he wanted his epitaph to read)
"Beside the tombstone when I die, they can hang out the Dodger's home schedule. Then when people are in the cemetery visiting loved ones, they can say, "Let's go to Lasorda's grave and see if the Dodgers are at home or away."
- Tommy Lasorda - (1976)
"I got to thinking about my little 9-month old granddaughter, and I how I'd like to be around when she goes to school."
- Tommy Lasorda - (announcing his retirement on July 29, 1996)


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"Anything that is given can be at once taken away. We have to learn never to expect anything, and when it comes it's no more than a gift on loan."
- John McGahern -
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
- John F. Kennedy -
"You know nothing for sure...execept the fact that you know nothing for sure".
- John F. Kennedy -
"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities"
- Frank Lloyd Wright -
"A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines"
- Frank Lloyd Wright -
"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
- Henry Ford -
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
- Mae West -
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone -
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson -  IBM Chairman, 1943 
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates - 1981
"You can’t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."
- Frank Zappa -
"Banks are a place that will lend you money, if you prove that you don't need it."
- Bob Hope -
"Most things, except agriculture, can wait".
-Jawaharlal Nehru -
I am a citizen of the world."
- Socrates -
"When 25 percent of the population believe that the president should be impeached and 51 percent believe in UFO's, you may or may not need a new president, but you definitely need a new population."
- Harry Reasoner -
"After all, there is but one race--Humanity".
- George Moore -
"The Key To Immortality Is First Living A Life Worth Remembering"
- Brandon Lee -
"In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities."
- Les Claypool -
"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."
- Bob Dylan -
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, then you will be fired with enthusiasm "
-Vince Lombardi -
"The road goes on forever, and the party never ends."
- Robert Earl Keen -
"Bull is what makes the world go 'round."
- Henry Winkler - (as The Fonz in Happy Days)
"Well I believe in the soul... the cock...the pussy... the small of a  woman's back... the hangin' curveball... high fiber... good scotch...  that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap...  I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated  hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening  your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I  believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Good Night."
- Kevin Costner - (as Crash Davis in Bull Durham)
"Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield."
- Mark Knopfler -
"The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be."
- Brian Leonard -
"Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch."
- Mom -
 "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
-- Seinfeld -
"Life is like a shit sandwich; the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat."
-- James L. Roberts Jr. -
 "When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman.  Well, I found her -- but, alas, she was waiting for the perfect man."  --
 - Robert Schuman - (French Statesman  - 1886-1963)
 "There are no stupid questions.  Just stupid people asking questions."
- Chris Berman - (Bristol University Dean and ESPN Anchor)
"Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way!"
- Henry Beard -
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
 - Wilson Mizner-
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
- Henry Adams -
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get."
- H. Jackson Brown -
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
- H. H. Munro -
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw-
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw-
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben -
"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog."
- Mark Twain -
"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."
- Henry David Thoreau -
"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." 
- Frank Outlaw -

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"A friend is someone who will help you move;
 A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a body."

"There are three kinds of people in this world:
 Those who make things happen;
 Those who watch things happen;
 And those that wonder what happen."

"When you're arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing."

"The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing."

"Happiness is not having what you want. It's wanting what you have."

"Information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, wisdom is not truth, truth is not beauty, beauty is not love"

"Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary."

"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."

"Not everybody knows everything, so use everything you know."

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."

"Never mistake motion for action."

"Well done is better than well said."

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul."

"There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over."

"Nothing can be made foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

"Life is not a spectator sport. The man in the arena will know the greatest victory and the learning experience of defeat. The male person on the couch will never know either. I choose the arena."

"Stupidity is a personal achievement which transcends national boundaries."

"Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money."

"Liberals want things to be fool-proof; for some reason, that most liberals don't understand, a fool-proof society tends to create *fools*."

"Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are."

"A man with a briefcase can steal more money than any man with a gun."

"Life isn't worth living if you're not living it to the fullest!"

"No matter where you go, there you are."

"Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot."

"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate."

"Experience is somthing you don't get until just after you need it."

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!"

"Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives."

"76.4% of all statistics are meaningless."

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once."

"The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen at once."

"Put your brain in gear, before you put your mouth in motion."

"Fail to plan, plan to fail."

"Don't confuse excellence, which is achievable, with perfection, which is elusive."

"There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about."

"Cats are put on earth to remind us that not everything has a purpose."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did---in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming --like the passengers in his car."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has a limit. If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards."

"Those who hammer their guns into plows, will plow for those who don't."

"My past is my wisdom to use today . . . my future is my wisdom yet to experience. Be in the present moment because that is where life resides."

"Man wants to live, but it is useless to hope that this desire will dictate all his actions."

"Kill them all and let god sort them out"

"The only good is knowledge, the only evil is ignorance."

Don't Forget To SMILE!!! ;-)

"The only good is knowledge, the only evil is ignorance."

"Curiosity is the first step to growth....."

"You're always interuputing me during my mistakes!"

"Student who is late for class not only makes an attempt to go to class, but also makes an attempt to finish what he started before class began."

"Excuses are a futile attempt to justify failure."

"A charging herd of elephants always has the right away."

"The first thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to quit diffing."

"If the trees die so will we"

"A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains."

"For those who understand, no explanation is needed.  For those who do not understand, no explanation will be given."

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."


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  Last update 29 August 1998